Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
