I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
