I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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