just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
