I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
