Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
