I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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