I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
