I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The power of my boobs compel you
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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