she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
