whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize