You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
