with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
