Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
