At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i now understand why vodka
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
