just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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