Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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