so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
