We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
