I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
