Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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