you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
