I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
