We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
