Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
