just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
