Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
