Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
