I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
