I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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