Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you win again, gameday.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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