I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
