I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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