i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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