end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize