I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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