we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
