I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
