My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
