due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
