Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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