Tell her she can't have a vagina
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Holy shit dude........stairs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
