Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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