PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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