well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
