It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
