Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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