Do vagina's smell?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
