Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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