You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
