but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
