Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
then he tried to convert me to islam
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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