Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
