Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize