i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
