'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
