You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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