glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
