I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
