wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
