I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
