ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize