Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
