Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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