I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize