3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
