The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
