"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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