the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize