I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Houston, we have a blender
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
