so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
