Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
