Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
