Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
