Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
