do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
