i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
