You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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