it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
