i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
