After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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