I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
