woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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